Purple Kanga
ClustrMap
Time/Weather in KG
Christmas Melancholy
I'm not really sure where it's coming from, but I've been exceedingly melancholy this season. I'm sure Jim working (and now so is M) on Christmas Eve isn't helping the mood... but that's not it totally. I'm just not feeling the whole Christmas cheer thing.
I had thought I would be all "merry and bright" what with it being the boys first Christmas with us and Sophie being so into Christmas this year (currently she's acting out the Betty Crocker commercial where the Dad eats the cookies because I made cookies tonight... homemade... no premade doughs here!!).
Yet here I am, nearly whining.... What's with this blah mood?
I've had incredibly good memories with the kids, we've baked, we've made ornaments, we've made decorations, we've even sang songs... although that's Xander's least favorite (he's not big on singing!!)... we've read stories and watched Christmas videos, not to mention the Macy's Parade for about a 1000 times!!
But the house is a semi-disaster, I never got the tree up in our upstairs (that's our little family tree) or any of our decorations. The kids' rooms are a nightmare thanks to Xander's plundering spirit and I have a desperate desire to get that straightened up before Christmas morning. We haven't gotten the outside (bird's) tree up. We're having a get together with Jim's family tomorrow and while I've already made the meal part (Ropa Vieja and black beans & rice) all I've made for dessert is chocolate chunk cookies (but they're with Callebaut, so that counts as fancy right??) and I somehow think I'm expected to bring something better than that but Jim said no one would like it... so I'm left feeling a little hollow on the whole thing... maybe nothing I make is actually good and they're just faking it all to not hurt my feeling? I've had to resist the urge to toss the food in the fridge and just pick up a pizza on the way over.
I hate when I feel like this.
And did I mention that the kids are supposed to have their pic made tomorrow morning? And all the other adults (that help with the kids) are working tonight... so I get to wing that one solo too.
Pray that Sophie is good and that no one is wearing perfume... I know it's an empty hope... but please let no one be wearing the bad perfume!!! I can just see it now...
Child goes crazy in studio, destroys building, News at 11.
And please let Xander smile, and not do that brainless, tongue-hanging out look that he does when he's being uncooperative.
And please let me find a good mood before tomorrow or else it's going to be a long long LONGGGG day!
You know what? You can't manufacture Christmas spirit. I think it either
descends upon you or it doesn't. If it's not there for you this year, don't
beat yourself up. It doesn't mean you're not grateful for what you have or
thankful for all the gifts in your life. It just means that maybe you're
not in sync with this particular calendar. You may be filled with the
'Christmas spirit' in March or July. Or maybe next December. Try not to
force yourself to feel it now if it's not coming naturally. Instead, maybe
take advantage of the time off, and the after Christmas sales and the
family nearby. Find the good in it that you can actually appreciate and
forget the rest. It happens to all of us, and sometimes in the most
unexpected years. Your kids will have plenty of Christmas spirit for
themselves. It will all be fine. Really. I promise. Now go eat some
cookies.
I know... I just don't like it. Thanks for the encouragement though... it
does feel better knowing that I can just be Scrooge for a year and not have
ghosts haunting me... but on the plus side I do know that Whole Foods has a
goose... the biggest goose in all the county... because I called yesterday
to see ;)
We have had no spirit this year either. The tree is a fake one--I hate
fake trees--because Donald didn't feel like dealing with a live tree and I
didn't have the energy to fight him. Thank goodness it is pre-lit (fiber
optics) because we've still not put any ornaments on it, and here is is the
afternoon of Christmas Day. I didn't bake cookies until about 2 days
ago--no pre-made dough here either. I spent part of one day last week
crying over Josh Groban's version of I'll Be Home For Christmas--couldn't
even finish listening to the CD. I miss my dad terribly this year, and
that song always reminds me of him. He's been gone since 9/2000, but it
still hurts. This is also our first Christmas since Donald's mom passed
away, and his family has been in turmoil all year. I just really am glad
we made it through this holiday, at least so far we've made it.
Well, we made it thru... it wasn't pretty, that's for sure... but the kids
had a great time and that's all that matters. I'm not a "bound to
tradition" type person but the one thing that has consistantly stayed the
same for my whole life is how Christmas plays out. This year that was shot
all to Hell and my mental stability was serious tested. I cried through
Polar Express last night, I cried through Christmas carols on the radio and
I cried out of frustration last night as I tried to assemble Beckett's
trolley... haven't those people heard of pre-drilled holes??